thoughts, blogging

Feeling Myself

I am naturally a bit of a loner, don’t get me wrong, I love my social time and boy do I thrive in it. There can be nothing better sometimes than to just spend time with a group and enjoy conversations and some laughs. But lately I have retreated a little more into my shell, I am not sure if it is because I have some big things happening on the horizon and maybe my way to process this is to just lock myself away and spend some time by myself. I found myself home alone one Saturday morning (and in my house that is a rarity). The house was quiet and I didn’t have anything to do so I thought, I know what I will do…watch porn without headphones in or on mute! I know female masturbation is a bit of taboo (apparently we don’t do it!) But I spent a good amount of time tending to my needs and fuck it was amazing! I was feeling a little melancholy pre masturbation but post masturbation I was feeling like I was floating and I did that all by myself!!! BOSS BITCH!!..

Earlier in the week I had a conversation with my Mum and sister about when my parents had ‘the talk’ with us and how it was different to the one they gave my brother. How they spoke about masturbation to him and that it was completely normal but they never mentioned it on our talks. Sure, this probably wasn’t unlike a lot of other parents when they gave the talk to their daughters. My sister said that she thought it was so wrong and spent so many years thinking it was a bad thing to do and that somehow someone would find out and she would get into trouble. I on the other hand naturally figured it out by myself (we didn’t have smart phones) and I remember thinking I had discovered this amazing thing that made me feel really happy.

We live in a society now where everyone has access to everything, we grow up faster than we ever did generations before us. But why in 2019 is female masturbation not really something that is brought up? I mean I have seen a few things here and there on various blogs or articles, but it’s not as main stream as male masturbation. It is such a natural act and yet many women keep it a secret, like it is something that’s dirty or wrong.

I remember when I stumbled upon a great T.V show Broad City and they were doing it and talking about it and I was in my early twenties thinking YES!! This is the shit we need to see and it not being sexualised but just a natural act that we as women engage in, just like men do and it’s perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed about.

I think as females we can tend to feel a bit like objects when it comes to sex but we need to turn that and be proud to be strong females who masturbate and we don’t need another person to engage in that with us (not all the time at least) but we can use masturbation as a way of reconnecting with ourselves. We have the power whether be by our own hands or the help of devices, we can make ourselves orgasm and I think we should be so fucking proud of ourselves that we can do that! Masturbation is a gift and we should embrace it and experiment with it!

Happy masturbating

G.S xx

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thoughts, blogging

Thank u, next

All I can say about 2018 is ‘thank you, next’. I literally spent the night of NYE at home, being super lazy around the house and not a care in the world that I was asleep before 10pm. #goals

This year is going to be the year I quite literally shake the ground from under me. I mean, why do people hate so much on new year resolutions? If someone wants to better themselves isn’t that a good thing?

In 2017, I was so incredibly dumb and I definitely paid the price for it last year. But lessons have been learnt and mistakes won’t be repeated. So I’m using the next couple of days to decide what no longer feeds my soul and let it go. No. 1) Officially letting go of drama and toxic negativity and filling those empty spaces with new beginnings and healthy energy.

Because I don’t know about you but just this period between 25 and 30 has me so caught up. They’ve been the most anxiety driven years of my life. Obviously not speaking for the next two years but so far I’ve seriously spent so much of my time in a panic bubble. I worry about my future, my goals, a partner, success, a house, kids, finances, my parents getting old, my health, my friends health, my alarm going off, the fine lines under my eyes. It’s not so much about what people think of me anymore – it’s so much more than that. And It’s so easy to fall into a state of depression and anxiety when your mind is constantly burdened with worry about things that are out of your control in the present moment.

But I’ve decided 2019 is my year.

I’ve been a dumb, sad bitch – honestly. And when I list off all the things my life can do without, it makes me wonder how I ever functioned with them in it.

Letting go of the following in 2019:

– Trying to please everyone

– Sacrificing my happiness for others – like all the time though

– Self doubt

– Caring what others think

– Living in the past

– Toxic people

– Negative self talk

– Bad sleeping patterns

– Thinking I’m not enough

– Comparing myself to others appearance or success

– Fearing change

I could build a longer resolutions list but we would be here all day. I could add a list of all the physical changes I would love to make, all the wardrobe and styling changes, the home decor changes and at the end, write how I refuse to do anything other than my very best in whatever studies or work 2019 brings me. But that’s all irrelevant to this post- my goal this year is to fall back in love with myself, in love with the world and life again. I feel like this list is almost essential in playing a role in that.

So with that being said…..

We hope the next 12 months for you are full and you never feel empty inside. We hope good things happen for you and life is never dull or stale.

We hope you find the courage to make every day mean something. We hope you remember that even if you’re not perfect it doesn’t mean you’re not important.

We hope your year has begun on a good note and you are feeling loved.

Happy 2019 ❤️

G.S & Ef xx

thoughts, blogging

Self care tips for the low times

Lately I’ve been feeling a little down, a little depressed and really not myself. It’s a feeling I’m used to and a feeling I’m sure, many can relate to.

Mental health is a number one priority to me and this last week of feeling low has got me thinking how glad I am that I have an action plan to put in place during these times.

Its taken me years to master the art of self care and sometimes when I’m feeling depressed, I forget that the only person who can make me feel better is actually me.

Here are my main 10 that keep me going

#1 I’m really into a good skin care routine, morning and night. Cleanser, toner, serum, moisturiser, eye cream- the whole works.

#2 When no one is home, I go to my Spotify app and basically play whatever the hell I want. I’m loving international music at the moment because it makes me feel like I’m anywhere but here.

#3 I delete the social media apps until I’m feeling better and read a good book. I recently read quite a few self help/ personal growth type books, which I’ll do a post on soon. To be honest, I feel like some of them repeat the same shit and the main take away is mindfulness. But it’s good to read a book that fuels your soul with positivity when you’re down.

#4 I do a full body moisturise session at night – I can’t recommend this enough. Going to bed and waking up with soft skin is the best feeling.

#5 I drink herbal tea before bed. It’s calming and detoxing.

#6 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. I’m not one to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself I’m a goddess but journaling affirmations is a great time. It’s something that took me ages to get on board with because I found it kind of lame at first, but it feels so good to write positively about yourself. Especially when you’re feeling down and need a mind-shift asap.

#7 I take a long arse shower. I’m not really a bath person but if no one is home I’ll take the longest shower of the year. Someone told me recently that ‘lonely’ people shower longer because the hot water falling on their body makes them feel less alone…. I’ll have to agree with that. The hot water does me wonders.

#8 I stay hydrated – I drink a hell of a lot more water than usual.

#9 I eat something I love. I don’t binge eat but I forget about the calories, gluten and fat content for a night and eat something I really enjoy. I am loving strawberry sorbet at the moment and it’s my go to ‘sad food’.

#10 I text a friend. I never used to tell anyone when I was down but these days I do. I’ll send a friend a text or give a friend a phone call. Being that little bit more open with someone close about how I’m feeling, makes me feel better within minutes and makes me realise I’m not alone. It helps to connect when you’re feeling so disconnected- with someone who loves you for you. There’s no shame in feeling down. Life gets tough and friends should be there for each other.

Going through depressive episodes is hard. I know some get it worse than me and I can’t even imagine how shit that is. Some may eye roll at my self care tips but these things have really helped me push through on a bad day. It’s the little things we do for ourselves that make a big difference.

All I can say is things get better. Maybe things get hard again, but then they get better again.

Hang in there, listen to some cool music, wash your face and eat some strawberry sorbet.

Ef. xx