Whats the damn rush?

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In the lead up to turning 28 this year, I had my usual pre-birthday anxiety. For some reason I will go ‘all out’ for other peoples birthdays, but when it comes to mine…I am really not a fan. During the lead up I was thinking, ‘Oh my god…28 is proper adult age, isn’t this the age im meant to have my shit together!!?!?!!’
My family kept asking what I had planned for it and honestly, the more low key the better! So the days got closer and I was growing more anxious because this meant I was ageing and this was the oldest I had ever been and I was no longer in the cute ‘mid-twenties’ bracket I was officially in my ‘late-twenties’. My family and friends were walking on egg shells around me and honestly I just didn’t know how to cope with turning this one year older.

When the day finally arrived, I actually didn’t care. For the first time in years I actually didn’t care about turning another year older. Being 28, I feel really good. I had to remind myself that, mentally I am in the best frame of mind I have ever been in and physically I feel better than what I did at 18 years old. So you know what? I am embracing ageing. I dont know why I’ve experienced this shift in mindset but I think that im growing more mature and less bothered about giving a shit about things I dont need to.

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The hands of time will keep moving, it will drag you kicking and screaming and you have no choice but to go along for the ride.

Who says that by this age I should be engaged? or even thinking of getting engaged if I had a serious partner of 2.5 years. Who says that I should be pumping out some babies or at least be thinking about pregnancy (OR at the very least be coming off my birth control). Who says that I should be in a proper ‘stable’ career and not at Uni as a mature age student? Who says I should be investing in my first home or even saving for one? Honestly who? … Cause if I find them I will politely tell them to mind their own god damn business.

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I am 28 and I am working on my own timeline, the one that I have set for me. You want to know whats at the top of my list? 1) Being happy with myself, finding out who I am and what I like and the things I want to put my energy into.
I am in no rush to settle down to the standards of what society thinks we should all be doing as we get older.

In saying that, if you want to get engaged, married, start having babies and buying houses – then all power to you ! But everyone needs to start doing them and stop worrying about what other people are doing. Don’t rain on my parade.

We all get to where we need to go in the end, so why the rush?

G.S xx

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Are you taking responsibility?

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I recently decided to put down my phone, step away from Netflix and get back into reading. I am not the type of girl that reads novels about love and empty promises, more the type to learn about how we tick and about our brains…..you can find me in the psychology and motivation isle of Dymocks during most lunch breaks.

So I did a little haul and tucked into my first book like Charlie Bucket tucking into all the sweets that Willy Wonka’s factory had to offer. I was hungry, hungry to learn.
And learn I did, I learnt so much that I went on a reading binge.
And do you know what I found out that was really simple yet needs to be smacked into your face sometimes? …..I am responsible. I am responsible for me and my actions and reactions. I didn’t realise this, well subconsciously I knew this, but consciously I didn’t.

Anyway, so being the sharer I am, I wanted to share with you guys in a ‘non preachy’ way, because I hope this will aid someone in some way?
The long and the short of it is – we cant control what people do to us. Yes, I know that sucks sometimes, wouldn’t it be easy if you could control some things… like that nice little top you saw at Zara last week on sale still being there when you get paid (fingers crossed for me please). Some stuff that happens to us straight up sucks and we cant always see the good in it or even the lesson at first or …ever. BUT what we can do is control and take responsibility for how we chose to react and move past this crappy stuff that happens to us.

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As you might be aware I am very open about my struggles with Anxiety, I dont like to keep it hidden away like a dirty little secret because I am not ashamed of it.
But I will say (and this may not help everyone with their struggle with anxiety but whats the harm in trying), I am now looking at things that happen to me like, ‘well OK, thanks for cheating on me – that sucks, but thats on you not me..all I can do is be responsible for how I let this crushing news affect me.’ Or another example, ‘you dont like me back (cute guy I have been into for like 6 weeks, and I feel like its going somewhere) OK then, its all good. I am responsible for how I deal with this.’ OR your friends wont text you back in a ‘normal’ texting response time, mmmmmm OK ‘not bothered’, pop that phone on hide alerts and go live your life.
(unless you asked them a question and you kind of need to know asap if the outfit you are trying on in Myer looks too mature for your damn fine 28 year old self) etc etc blah blah blah you get the point.

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Where I am going with this is…. are we carrying too much responsibility on our anxiety riddled plates? Can we afford to lose some of that heavy load?
Take a little time to assess what it is that is giving you anxiety right now. Write a list if you need to. (I do this and btw, its actually really good to see it written down on paper and you start to think…..wtf ….why did I write that?)

Lets try and ease our anxiety load and feel a little bit lighter. Taking responsibility by reassessing how we act and react. We all deserve that, we all deserve to feel a little freer in our lives. Switch off our devices, YES we hear this a lot but seriously not being connected makes us more connected. I cannot tell you how amazing it has been to get home from work and be excited to read in bed with my little diffuser going. Its utter peace.
And another little unexpected side effect, apart from how much better my sleep has been since I have cut down my screen time, my darling mother said that I seem to be a lot calmer.
So there you go my sweet little rays of moon shine, pop down the phone, pick up a book and tune out.

Happy Reading
G.S xx

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3 Things I’m loving right now…

“She gave it all, you gave her shit
She coulda done, just anything
Or anyone, cause she’s a goddess
You never got this
You put her down, you liked her hopeless
To walk around, feeling unnoticed
You shoulda crowned her, cause she’s a goddess
You never got this”IMG_9524

  1. Look, maybe I’m a little late to the game, but Banks is breathing new life into my soul every morning with her damn good music. I’ve been listening to her on Spotify repetitively and I don’t see myself getting sick of her music anytime soon. I’m obsessing…..IMG_9567
  2. GirlTherapy!!! I followed @girltherapy on Insta and subscribed to their DAILY newsletter.  I actually get therapy sent to my inbox every.single.day. Which is exactly what I need after a long day at work, when I just want some damn words of encouragement ….or something a little deeper. Great advice, amazing pick-me-ups and cute memes – ALL FOR FREE. IMG_9569
  3. So, my friend sent me a gift. A Gratitude Journal, 100 days of gratitude will change your life, by Natalie Fox. IMG_9565Super thoughtful of her but at first I wasn’t really into it. I placed it at the bottom of my bookshelf to collect dust with the idea that I would re-gift it at some point. HOWEVER, over the last few weeks I’ve been writing in it. It’s simple, cute and it actually really helps to bring my mind out of a funky place. Replacing negative thoughts with gratitude may actually be my new thing. IMG_9635

Just a few things I’m loving right now, keeping me going, keeping me sane.
Ef xx

Anxiety is a bitch

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Anxiety is a bitch to live with.
I am naturally quite an anxious ‘over thinking’ person, I’ve been like this as long as I can remember. I come from a beautiful family, my parents are supportive of me and I was fortunate enough to have Mum be at home full time when I was younger. As a child I was never too far from my Mum, as an adult I look back and think that may have contributed to my anxiety. I wasn’t a kid that loved change, the transition from primary school to high school was beyond traumatic. It may have involved me going to school for only one day, after spending 2 hours in the car that morning crying and refusing to go in – even the principal came out to try and get me to go in…. funny story to share now, at the time not so much.
So now that I am approaching 28,I have gathered some good tips and tricks that I use to keep my anxiety in check. I wanted to share some things that I do when I feel like things are getting a bit too much.

  1. I make sure I have a support system. I think it is super important to make sure that you have a great support system, whether that be friends or family it’s just really great to have someone you know you can rely on. I make sure I avoid toxic people
    and toxic situations as best I can. I will be realistic here – sometimes it may be
    someone from work like a shitty boss, where unless you leave, then you kind of can’t do too much about it. If I’m in that situation I have to use different coping
    mechanisms. I have been there, where I dread going into work each day and I can’t wait to leave! Sometimes I’ve had to sit and write out the pros and cons of staying at that particular toxic workplace.IMG_9571
  2. A big way that I deal with my anxiety is by exercise. I find it so helpful to just sweat and move, because I know for the duration of the workout my brain has a little holiday. When I say workout, for me it can be something as simple as a walk, a yoga session, tai chi or something as intense as F45. It’s really been about setting my own pace and finding what makes me feel good in that moment.
  3. Meditation! I like to meditate daily, but sometimes I just can’t get that happening. On these days I try and aim for 15 minutes of just lying in savasana literally just means laying on your back. There are heaps of meditation apps which are really great, there’s a few free ones which are awesome.
  4. Self-care Sunday’s are my favourite day of the week! I always keep Sunday free for
    myself. When you work 5 days a week and you only get 2 days off, you really need to schedule some alone time in there. I like to have a bath with a lovely, chunky, amazing smelling Lush bath bomb! I pop on a movie or tv show on my laptop, pour myself some kombucha and settle in with a hair mask and face mask on. That way, I finish off my weekend and head into a new week feeling like I have given myself some proper down time and love.IMG_9572
  5. I see a professional to talk through my anxieties which works amazingly for me. It’s very freeing and I always feel like my mind is a clean slate afterwards. They can be quite expensive to be honest, and I know I don’t have the budget for one. When I first started, I spoke with my doctor about going on a mental health care plan and now I get the sessions subsidised. But I know there is also online counselling which is becoming super popular. I’ve looked into it and It’s very helpful because you have regular access to trained professionals via the internet from your laptop or phone, you can choose your preferred method of contact and it’s normally much cheaper than an in-person session.

OK so like I said at the beginning, anxiety is a bitch, but I’ve learnt over the years how to cope and better live with it every day with just a few simple things. I live a full and happy life. Sometimes it’s just about stepping back and asking, am ‘I loving on myself right now?’

G.S xx

Im going to go with Introverted…

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When I was a kid my Mum would say to me, ‘If you want a friend, be one.’
As I grow older and my life continues to change, some of my friendships grow distant.
And it makes me think, are we actually growing apart or do I just need to be a better friend?
I have this fear as we are all drifting apart that it’s because I might be doing something wrong. Maybe I’m not being a good enough friend, I’m not asking enough about their life, or saying the right thing at the right time, not being supportive enough or calling or texting enough.
But the thing is, I’m not sure everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever, what was the norm when we were 21 isn’t so much the norm at 28.
Life changes and schedules get busier, family time takes priority and workloads are heavier. Ambitions are stronger, and the motivation is relentless. I think its natural, as it is sad, that friendships fade as you get older.
I do think Mum’s advice still stands though, ‘If you want a friend, be a friend.’

So, It’s 9 pm on Friday night, I’m home alone. I’m eating lightly salted popcorn, watching Netflix and writing to you. I think I’m home alone by choice? I mean, I know that if someone invited me to go out right now the answer ‘in my head’ would be a hell no. And I’d unashamedly tell them I’m in bed already #sorrybabe…next time.
But would I even go next time?
It’s that fine line of wanting to be invited out, but also never wanting to leave the house.
That want to be wanted but also pretty content in your own company.
And in turn, making it slightly difficult to make new friendships in your late 20’s.

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Have you ever done the Myers-Briggs personality type test? It’s used so frequently by businesses, in work places, on dating sites, and just generally well known for being so on point. I’ve done it quite a few times (for fun) and I spent a moment doing it again this afternoon.
According to the Myers-Briggs test, there are 16 different types of personalities. I fluctuate between INFP and ENFP. I’m assuming it’s because my general emotional state of being fluctuates just the same. The NFP part of it stands for Intuition, Feeling, and Perception. Whilst the I and the E stand for Introversion and Extroversion.

At least I know I’m intuitive and perceiving but what the fuck??!!
Do I like being around people or nah?
This is something I have genuinely struggled with in my mid-late 20’s. I want to be the life of the party. I am the life of the party, but I know what’s good for my soul and it’s not a party.  I crave the company but when I get it, I want it out of the door as quickly as it entered.
Do you see my dilemma?

When I was younger I was a lot more extroverted than I am now, pair that with self-confidence, dominance, and a touch of narcissism. I was a fire sign burning out of control. Too much alone time would leave me bored and restless, interacting with other people was my recharge.
And don’t get me wrong, when it’s called for, I still love being the centre of attention.
For example: Group interviews = smash them.
Oral presentations, I’ll go last so you won’t forget me.
Dinner parties? I’ll almost always sit at the head of the table.
I love the sound of my own voice and I’m not shy of the camera, on my good days.
But I need my space.

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I recently left my crib for 4 exhausting, very long days and attended a Health and Wellness conference. There were thousands of healthbrandfreak girls there, all decked out in their floral print dresses and heels, chatting not stop, sipping on pomegranate and lime detox tea, high on life. I cried.
No seriously…..I cried.
It was too much to deal with. I needed my down time, I needed to recoup, I needed space to bounce back. I just needed 1 day off to myself, to gain back my thoughts, wash my hair, moisturise, relax my mind and recharge. 4 days is a long time.

Its true that some people draw energy from others, from their outside environment, and some draw from within.
I definitely draw my energy from my Zen 28-year-old inner self that only makes an appearance when I’m alone.

The 4 day Conference was eye opening for me, not only did I discover that I stand out like a sore thumb at a Health and Wellness conference but apparently floral print is still trending like never before. These sorts of movements will only continue to grow as time goes on (and all power to them), but I dont think I see myself ever attending something on such a large scale ever again.
Im content with how I’ve changed over the years, I’ve experienced the wildfire that spreads super quick when my extroversion is at its peak. And for now, I enjoy the introvert life. I learn more, I sleep more and I make choices im proud of on a daily basis.


Making new friendships in your late 20’s is slightly difficult, even more so when you’re turning down invitations for a night out, to stay at home.

‘If you want a friend, be one’
But maybe its not all about that, maybe its about being your own friend first.

hmmm

Ef xx

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Self care tips for the low times

Lately I’ve been feeling a little down, a little depressed and really not myself. It’s a feeling I’m used to and a feeling I’m sure, many can relate to.

Mental health is a number one priority to me and this last week of feeling low has got me thinking how glad I am that I have an action plan to put in place during these times.

Its taken me years to master the art of self care and sometimes when I’m feeling depressed, I forget that the only person who can make me feel better is actually me.

Here are my main 10 that keep me going

#1 I’m really into a good skin care routine, morning and night. Cleanser, toner, serum, moisturiser, eye cream- the whole works.

#2 When no one is home, I go to my Spotify app and basically play whatever the hell I want. I’m loving international music at the moment because it makes me feel like I’m anywhere but here.

#3 I delete the social media apps until I’m feeling better and read a good book. I recently read quite a few self help/ personal growth type books, which I’ll do a post on soon. To be honest, I feel like some of them repeat the same shit and the main take away is mindfulness. But it’s good to read a book that fuels your soul with positivity when you’re down.

#4 I do a full body moisturise session at night – I can’t recommend this enough. Going to bed and waking up with soft skin is the best feeling.

#5 I drink herbal tea before bed. It’s calming and detoxing.

#6 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS. I’m not one to stand in front of the mirror and tell myself I’m a goddess but journaling affirmations is a great time. It’s something that took me ages to get on board with because I found it kind of lame at first, but it feels so good to write positively about yourself. Especially when you’re feeling down and need a mind-shift asap.

#7 I take a long arse shower. I’m not really a bath person but if no one is home I’ll take the longest shower of the year. Someone told me recently that ‘lonely’ people shower longer because the hot water falling on their body makes them feel less alone…. I’ll have to agree with that. The hot water does me wonders.

#8 I stay hydrated – I drink a hell of a lot more water than usual.

#9 I eat something I love. I don’t binge eat but I forget about the calories, gluten and fat content for a night and eat something I really enjoy. I am loving strawberry sorbet at the moment and it’s my go to ‘sad food’.

#10 I text a friend. I never used to tell anyone when I was down but these days I do. I’ll send a friend a text or give a friend a phone call. Being that little bit more open with someone close about how I’m feeling, makes me feel better within minutes and makes me realise I’m not alone. It helps to connect when you’re feeling so disconnected- with someone who loves you for you. There’s no shame in feeling down. Life gets tough and friends should be there for each other.

Going through depressive episodes is hard. I know some get it worse than me and I can’t even imagine how shit that is. Some may eye roll at my self care tips but these things have really helped me push through on a bad day. It’s the little things we do for ourselves that make a big difference.

All I can say is things get better. Maybe things get hard again, but then they get better again.

Hang in there, listen to some cool music, wash your face and eat some strawberry sorbet.

Ef. xx

HIGH MAINTENANCE

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Last week I went interstate for some birthday celebrations. It was my 28th and I didn’t want to make a big deal about making a big deal about it, but it was a big deal…..
I was saying RIP to the 27 club and embracing my new look pushing 30. My friends are either that little bit older than me or that little bit behind me and I really felt like I was paving the way turning 28. This was a big deal.

If you haven’t realised by now, I’m all for learning and the one thing I learnt last week is how HIGH MAINTENANCE I AM.
My close friends know it and never fail to remind me, but it honestly didn’t register to me until I fell sick with the dreaded flu on my trip.

Now, I’m all for being independent. Despite living at home with my parents and having most of my dinners cooked for me, I’d say I’m an independent woman. I have a strong mind. I do me… most of the time.
I pay my own bills, buy my own shit, get myself from A to B. I do my own washing, I’m not one to leave the dishes or my personal space in a mess …
So I’m Independent? …. right?

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Anyway, I’m on one of my flights, (window seat) and I start FREAKING out. If you’ve ever flown with the flu before, you’ll know it’s really uncomfortable to say the least. My eardrums felt like they were about to rupture, my brain was going to explode, and I literally could not breathe from my nose and every two minutes I was coughing up a dry lung. Awful! I was ringing the bell for a flight attendant constantly. I needed a blanket, I needed ear plugs, paracetamol, 4 bottles of water, a black tea no sugar, I needed a hot wet towel to dampen my face, (I mean honestly).
I look back now and wonder who the hell I think I am. But at the time my maintenance level was at an all-time high.

To top it off, when I ordered my Uber from the airport, my driver didn’t clock that I had a 23kg suitcase plus extra luggage and stayed seated in his driver’s seat – smfh. I could have cried. He popped the boot and I felt like rating him then and there and telling him to fuck off. But I didn’t, I threw the luggage into the boot and hopped in the back seat. I felt so hard done by, I didn’t say a word the entire trip and tried super hard not to sneeze.

It got me thinking though, is this why I’m still single? Because I’m a demanding little shit? Like, is the Uber driver meant to get out of the car and assist me with my bags? Or is that just something I expect? Is this how I’ve treated those I’ve dated and why they think I’m a selfish twit?
LOL whoops.

IMG_9046Skip through to my last day before flying home. I was staying with one of my besties and my bad mood was at its peak. I had lost so much sleep throughout the week and I just wanted to have some damn fun! I was ready to spend hundreds on an emergency flight just to get back to my own bed a day earlier #dramatic. I sat in her bed miserable, crying, feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my nails and my red Rudolph nose. I watched as she got out the essential oils and turned on the diffuser, warmed me up a heat pack, handed me a herbal tea and an assortment of drugs, closed the blinds and booked me a manicure appointment!!!!!
Uhmm who needs a partner when you have a bestie who treats you like a princess?

In light of what a damn good friend I have, I decided to really suck it up and go out for the last night of my trip. The last week of travels had been so tiring I can’t even bring myself to write about it but I thought, ‘tonight I’ll go out with my flu, hand in hand’.
I must say, I’m thankful for my Fenty beauty cause’ it’s the only reason my makeup stayed on through 79 sessions of me sneezing and blowing my nose in-between dances.
I was an entitled little brat all night. I made the bar tender make me a cocktail he had never heard of and didn’t serve at the club. I held up the girl’s bathroom line like I was Beyoncé, and I asked the DJ to play me a birthday song on a ‘no requests no regrets’ night. I gave no fucks. I told management they need to get with the times and ditch the plastic straws and I asked for the outside heaters on deck to be moved to the corner I was sitting in because – ‘flu season’.

IMG_9047All in all it was a great night, but I suffered for it the next day on my flight home. Thank fuck I was flying with Qantas on my way home because their service was on point. I was handed a packet of tissues and 3 little bottles of water, (I didn’t even need to ring the bell.) #economybitches

So maybe I’m not so ‘independent’, I came home to a warm arse bed and my Dads home cooked soup. My vaporiser was already steaming, and I could feel that my sheets had been freshly washed.
I know now that when I’m not feeling good, I basically expect everyone to fall at my knees and give in to my demands, including the bar tender and club management on a night out. But is that so bad?

Here’s a quote from Rachel Hollis that I probably should have read before my birthday trip.
“The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation”

There’s nothing like realising that what everyone’s always told you about yourself is true. I know I’m demanding, I know I’m high maintenance and possibly not as independent as id like to be. I like to have things done my way and when things start to go wrong I.flip.the.fuck.out.
I guess the hard shit we go through, whether it be *really hard* or falling sick with the flu on holiday, sets us up for growth. We get through it, we grow stronger and we are better equipped for the next thing life throws at us.
IMG_9050PS. Thanks to my babe for putting up with my shit. God bless you.

Ef. xx