thoughts, blogging

Forgiveness <3

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‘We dont get to choose what is done to us, we do however get to choose how long it is done to us’

I’ve had to do a little forgiving recently, sometimes I feel like I’m always doing a little forgiving but this time it was next level. I had to first forgive myself and then forgive some people without ever receiving any form of an apology from them.

Quick thing about forgiveness: It frees our mind and spirit. It’s healing for our body. It puts the power back in our hands. It creates a peace of mind and It gives us back control over our thoughts.

So I had to re-connect with a part of myself I’ve been avoiding for a long time.
They say in order to be free, you must first forgive yourself and then forgive others. I found that hard to do. It was draining. Draining forgiving myself and draining forgiving people I’ve had deep anger towards for a long time.
I feel like some people think forgiveness might be easy- and for some, maybe it is. Just like saying, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’ the words may roll off the tongue with such importance and likewise the words ‘I forgive you’ may hold just as much power.
But for me….not so much. There’s always a thought process, ‘why am I sorry? why are they sorry? .. are our actions proving so? whats the next step?’
So just the same for forgiveness, it requires work, this time though – a shit load of work. And a whole lot of questions that needed to be answered but only I could answer them and a lot were left unanswered. I was throwing around positive affirmations like they were spells and I went on a massive cull.

Unfortunately I’m only human, forgiveness is not forgetting. It doesn’t matter how many hours I work, books I read, how much music I listen too, forgiveness is not forgetting.
But with every flashback, I feel a little stronger. I have more respect for myself. I’m no longer angry at what anyone has done, they’ve shown me what I need to know. And God damn my standards have been raised.

What’s that quote? ‘If you expect nothing from anyone, you’ll never be disappointed’
Fuck that- when did we all stop expecting, I expect so much more.
It only takes one person to come into your life and treat you like a qween for you to realise that everyone else was so so wrong. The standards need to be re-evaluated and set higher.

Forgive yourself, forgive them and then raise the bar so damn high because you deserve nothing less.

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Ef xx

thoughts, blogging

Ray of sunshine #motivation

I can really feel the energy of the Virgo new moon starting to take effect. My life actually seems to look a little brighter than usual. Weird, but true.

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Do you ever wonder how some people are positive, colourful, little rays of sunshine, candy floss 99% of the time? The ones that turn any negative situation into a rainbow. Those who take on a mighty challenge and look at it as personal development. The ones who clog up your news feed with smiling selfies and theGoodQuote.

If not, you’re probably one of them. and don’t get me wrong, you don’t annoy me, I admire you. But how are you positive and full of energy for life 99% of the time?

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To master life is to transform the energy we feel at any moment into cheerful engagement and deep appreciation.’

Lately I’ve been focusing on self awareness, practising mindfulness and reminding myself that happiness is a result of thought.
I mentioned briefly in my previous post that I’ve read quite a few self help books recently.
I’ve noticed that one of the things these books have in common is reinforcing the fact that happiness is a result of how we think.

It’s hard to absorb that and apply it to your life when its basically saying, ‘You’re responsible for your own happiness’, especially when you genuinely feel so ‘up and down’ and out of control, so much of the time.

So, I’ve been reading The Motivation Manifesto by Brendan Burchard : 9 declarations to claim your personal power.
Declaration #1 We shall meet life with full presence and power.

Living in the present, for an overthinking Virgo, is hard af.
It’s natural for me to check out of the present moment and think about tomorrow or next week, next month, even 5 years time.
I have this fear that tomorrow wont go according to plan or next week will be worse than the last. I zone out thinking about where I’ll be in 5 years, hoping that I’d have met my goals and succeeded in one way or another.
These worries take me away from enjoying the present moment, enjoying my life, there’s no flow. I have no god damn flow.

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‘If we are not vigilant, being around constant worry can quickly limit who we are and what we might be capable of.’

Apparently it’s pretty normal though and without talking about anxiety, I know I’m not alone. Practising self awareness has really helped me to connect with myself.
Without detaching from myself, I’m recognising how I am acting and reacting in the moment. Making choices to change my reality and thinking differently to feel differently.
Im noticing when I’m making poor choices, thinking negatively of myself or others around me.
Connecting with myself and my life is helping me sense a conflict straight up, it’s helping me to recognise that I’m about to go from 0-100 real quick and assess what the appropriate action to take is.
I’ve been making an effort to think before I speak, before I act and before I react.
And I’ve been asking myself the necessary questions to work out the results I want to see in my life.

img_9268‘Awareness + Discipline = Freedom’

I highly recommend reading The Motivation Manifesto. I know it’s been a popular read over the last year and I can see why. It’s written in such a way that his words play on your mind throughout the day. THEY NEVER LEAVE YOU.

My god, it’s all a big journey. But I think it’s a journey worth taking.
I’ve never wanted to be a lollipops and rainbows sort of a person, as principle. But there needs to be a balance. There needs to be a happy life behind the screens we all play on everyday. I don’t believe that you wake up one day and suddenly, your life is magic. I believe it takes a lot of grafting and mind-shifting to become the person you want to be.

So to the positive rays of sunshine bubble tea, that blow up my feed every morning – good on you… it’s not an easy feat.

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Ef. xx