Navigating texting styles

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So, I have started seeing a guy, we aren’t exclusive or at least we haven’t had ‘the talk’ yet. It occurred to me recently, after spending a lovely weekend with him and those lustful feelings were in overdrive, that I wanted to be exclusive with him.
I wanted to have that conversation with him as soon as possible. So naturally I turned to my bestie and bombarded her with the feelings I had about him and she agreed that maybe, that talk needed to happen – but advised me to leave it for the next date.
Face to face is much better for these sorts of conversations. A few days had passed after our lovely weekend together and I was feeling a little left out in the cold.
You see, this guy that I am seeing is not the type of guy that I have dated in the past. He isn’t big on texting and that drives me into a crazy thought process. I start thinking, maybe he isn’t as into me as what I think? Maybe this is all in my head?
In person he is wonderful and we get along great, we really seem to click and I am really enjoying his company.
This little ‘texting issue’ started to affect my mood and started to change the way I felt about him but then I see him again and we are all good. So I know then that its just my mind not playing on my team.

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When you date someone or start seeing a new person, you really have to get to know their style of things, one of those things includes their texting style. I am a big fan of texting. I am that friend that sends random texts that leave you thinking wtf is she on? And I will blow up my friends phones (selected friends), because I know that I can and it’s not weird to me.
But we all have that one friend that wont reply to us for days on end and it can really leave you thinking, ‘am I the only one putting in the effort here?’ or ‘am I being annoying?’
Just like tying our shoe laces we all have a texting style.
Some people just aren’t on their phones very much, and some people actually prefer face to face talk and I love those people. But would it kill them to reply back within at least a 48 hour time-frame?
I mean come on people, you are driving my Virgo mind insane, I am all about efficiency.

Being the boss bitch I am, whilst on my most recent date with this boy, I decided to suss out what was up with his texting.  I asked him, ‘Dude, what’s with the texting or lack of it?’ And he was surprised…. he had no idea that it was an issue for me.
I told him, when I don’t hear from him that much during the week, even a simple text like, ‘How was your day?’ still makes me feel like hes not that into me.
I mean, I am not asking for much, I am a low fuss kind of girl. But a little conversation that I don’t have to initiate would be amazing!!
I was feeling like I was being that annoying girl messaging him, and he wouldn’t reply straight away even though he saw my messages……the fool has his read receipts on! Big mistake……….HUGE.

IMG_9485 - CopyI guess where I am going with this, is that if you have a relationship/friendship or are dating someone and you aren’t the same texting style and have been feeling in a similar way to me then you need to speak up.
It may be that the person isn’t into you and you are wasting your time texting them and
getting nothing or very little back. We don’t want to be wasting time on people who
don’t see how amazing we are because there are plenty of people out there who do!
Or it could be that you are dealing with a non-texter but your chemistry is great in person – and those people are truly an untapped market.
Communication is key and talking about these issues is crucial, even if it is as simple as asking, ‘Whats with your texting style?’ because you can save yourself a lot of crazy thought process time, if you just balls up and say, ‘What’s the go?’

Had I just gone, ‘this guy isn’t texting me like I want, I’m going to cut him out of my life…’ then I would be missing out on spending time with this beautiful onion who reveals a different layer every time I see him.

Did I have the exclusive conversation with him? I know you are all wondering…
I decided to see how the next few weeks go, because I am in no rush and I want to make sure that I am truly happy with what I am seeing and the actions that he is displaying before I commit to being exclusive. In the mean time I am happy just talking to him and seeing only him……but I am keeping that between you and I ……because I am a mystery girl after all.

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G.S xx

Im going to go with Introverted…

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When I was a kid my Mum would say to me, ‘If you want a friend, be one.’
As I grow older and my life continues to change, some of my friendships grow distant.
And it makes me think, are we actually growing apart or do I just need to be a better friend?
I have this fear as we are all drifting apart that it’s because I might be doing something wrong. Maybe I’m not being a good enough friend, I’m not asking enough about their life, or saying the right thing at the right time, not being supportive enough or calling or texting enough.
But the thing is, I’m not sure everyone is meant to stay in our lives forever, what was the norm when we were 21 isn’t so much the norm at 28.
Life changes and schedules get busier, family time takes priority and workloads are heavier. Ambitions are stronger, and the motivation is relentless. I think its natural, as it is sad, that friendships fade as you get older.
I do think Mum’s advice still stands though, ‘If you want a friend, be a friend.’

So, It’s 9 pm on Friday night, I’m home alone. I’m eating lightly salted popcorn, watching Netflix and writing to you. I think I’m home alone by choice? I mean, I know that if someone invited me to go out right now the answer ‘in my head’ would be a hell no. And I’d unashamedly tell them I’m in bed already #sorrybabe…next time.
But would I even go next time?
It’s that fine line of wanting to be invited out, but also never wanting to leave the house.
That want to be wanted but also pretty content in your own company.
And in turn, making it slightly difficult to make new friendships in your late 20’s.

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Have you ever done the Myers-Briggs personality type test? It’s used so frequently by businesses, in work places, on dating sites, and just generally well known for being so on point. I’ve done it quite a few times (for fun) and I spent a moment doing it again this afternoon.
According to the Myers-Briggs test, there are 16 different types of personalities. I fluctuate between INFP and ENFP. I’m assuming it’s because my general emotional state of being fluctuates just the same. The NFP part of it stands for Intuition, Feeling, and Perception. Whilst the I and the E stand for Introversion and Extroversion.

At least I know I’m intuitive and perceiving but what the fuck??!!
Do I like being around people or nah?
This is something I have genuinely struggled with in my mid-late 20’s. I want to be the life of the party. I am the life of the party, but I know what’s good for my soul and it’s not a party.  I crave the company but when I get it, I want it out of the door as quickly as it entered.
Do you see my dilemma?

When I was younger I was a lot more extroverted than I am now, pair that with self-confidence, dominance, and a touch of narcissism. I was a fire sign burning out of control. Too much alone time would leave me bored and restless, interacting with other people was my recharge.
And don’t get me wrong, when it’s called for, I still love being the centre of attention.
For example: Group interviews = smash them.
Oral presentations, I’ll go last so you won’t forget me.
Dinner parties? I’ll almost always sit at the head of the table.
I love the sound of my own voice and I’m not shy of the camera, on my good days.
But I need my space.

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I recently left my crib for 4 exhausting, very long days and attended a Health and Wellness conference. There were thousands of healthbrandfreak girls there, all decked out in their floral print dresses and heels, chatting not stop, sipping on pomegranate and lime detox tea, high on life. I cried.
No seriously…..I cried.
It was too much to deal with. I needed my down time, I needed to recoup, I needed space to bounce back. I just needed 1 day off to myself, to gain back my thoughts, wash my hair, moisturise, relax my mind and recharge. 4 days is a long time.

Its true that some people draw energy from others, from their outside environment, and some draw from within.
I definitely draw my energy from my Zen 28-year-old inner self that only makes an appearance when I’m alone.

The 4 day Conference was eye opening for me, not only did I discover that I stand out like a sore thumb at a Health and Wellness conference but apparently floral print is still trending like never before. These sorts of movements will only continue to grow as time goes on (and all power to them), but I dont think I see myself ever attending something on such a large scale ever again.
Im content with how I’ve changed over the years, I’ve experienced the wildfire that spreads super quick when my extroversion is at its peak. And for now, I enjoy the introvert life. I learn more, I sleep more and I make choices im proud of on a daily basis.


Making new friendships in your late 20’s is slightly difficult, even more so when you’re turning down invitations for a night out, to stay at home.

‘If you want a friend, be one’
But maybe its not all about that, maybe its about being your own friend first.

hmmm

Ef xx

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HIGH MAINTENANCE

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Last week I went interstate for some birthday celebrations. It was my 28th and I didn’t want to make a big deal about making a big deal about it, but it was a big deal…..
I was saying RIP to the 27 club and embracing my new look pushing 30. My friends are either that little bit older than me or that little bit behind me and I really felt like I was paving the way turning 28. This was a big deal.

If you haven’t realised by now, I’m all for learning and the one thing I learnt last week is how HIGH MAINTENANCE I AM.
My close friends know it and never fail to remind me, but it honestly didn’t register to me until I fell sick with the dreaded flu on my trip.

Now, I’m all for being independent. Despite living at home with my parents and having most of my dinners cooked for me, I’d say I’m an independent woman. I have a strong mind. I do me… most of the time.
I pay my own bills, buy my own shit, get myself from A to B. I do my own washing, I’m not one to leave the dishes or my personal space in a mess …
So I’m Independent? …. right?

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Anyway, I’m on one of my flights, (window seat) and I start FREAKING out. If you’ve ever flown with the flu before, you’ll know it’s really uncomfortable to say the least. My eardrums felt like they were about to rupture, my brain was going to explode, and I literally could not breathe from my nose and every two minutes I was coughing up a dry lung. Awful! I was ringing the bell for a flight attendant constantly. I needed a blanket, I needed ear plugs, paracetamol, 4 bottles of water, a black tea no sugar, I needed a hot wet towel to dampen my face, (I mean honestly).
I look back now and wonder who the hell I think I am. But at the time my maintenance level was at an all-time high.

To top it off, when I ordered my Uber from the airport, my driver didn’t clock that I had a 23kg suitcase plus extra luggage and stayed seated in his driver’s seat – smfh. I could have cried. He popped the boot and I felt like rating him then and there and telling him to fuck off. But I didn’t, I threw the luggage into the boot and hopped in the back seat. I felt so hard done by, I didn’t say a word the entire trip and tried super hard not to sneeze.

It got me thinking though, is this why I’m still single? Because I’m a demanding little shit? Like, is the Uber driver meant to get out of the car and assist me with my bags? Or is that just something I expect? Is this how I’ve treated those I’ve dated and why they think I’m a selfish twit?
LOL whoops.

IMG_9046Skip through to my last day before flying home. I was staying with one of my besties and my bad mood was at its peak. I had lost so much sleep throughout the week and I just wanted to have some damn fun! I was ready to spend hundreds on an emergency flight just to get back to my own bed a day earlier #dramatic. I sat in her bed miserable, crying, feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my nails and my red Rudolph nose. I watched as she got out the essential oils and turned on the diffuser, warmed me up a heat pack, handed me a herbal tea and an assortment of drugs, closed the blinds and booked me a manicure appointment!!!!!
Uhmm who needs a partner when you have a bestie who treats you like a princess?

In light of what a damn good friend I have, I decided to really suck it up and go out for the last night of my trip. The last week of travels had been so tiring I can’t even bring myself to write about it but I thought, ‘tonight I’ll go out with my flu, hand in hand’.
I must say, I’m thankful for my Fenty beauty cause’ it’s the only reason my makeup stayed on through 79 sessions of me sneezing and blowing my nose in-between dances.
I was an entitled little brat all night. I made the bar tender make me a cocktail he had never heard of and didn’t serve at the club. I held up the girl’s bathroom line like I was Beyoncé, and I asked the DJ to play me a birthday song on a ‘no requests no regrets’ night. I gave no fucks. I told management they need to get with the times and ditch the plastic straws and I asked for the outside heaters on deck to be moved to the corner I was sitting in because – ‘flu season’.

IMG_9047All in all it was a great night, but I suffered for it the next day on my flight home. Thank fuck I was flying with Qantas on my way home because their service was on point. I was handed a packet of tissues and 3 little bottles of water, (I didn’t even need to ring the bell.) #economybitches

So maybe I’m not so ‘independent’, I came home to a warm arse bed and my Dads home cooked soup. My vaporiser was already steaming, and I could feel that my sheets had been freshly washed.
I know now that when I’m not feeling good, I basically expect everyone to fall at my knees and give in to my demands, including the bar tender and club management on a night out. But is that so bad?

Here’s a quote from Rachel Hollis that I probably should have read before my birthday trip.
“The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation”

There’s nothing like realising that what everyone’s always told you about yourself is true. I know I’m demanding, I know I’m high maintenance and possibly not as independent as id like to be. I like to have things done my way and when things start to go wrong I.flip.the.fuck.out.
I guess the hard shit we go through, whether it be *really hard* or falling sick with the flu on holiday, sets us up for growth. We get through it, we grow stronger and we are better equipped for the next thing life throws at us.
IMG_9050PS. Thanks to my babe for putting up with my shit. God bless you.

Ef. xx