Let’s talk about moods baby….
Until recently I considered myself to be pretty level in my moods. Yes, I have my up and down moments but don’t we all…
If you ask my parents they would say that I am a bit of a short tempered little fire cracker. I once broke my toe kicking a bed frame in the heat of frustration (I told people it was because I dropped a weight on it at the gym). One particular person I dated described me as a hurricane….so you get the idea.
Like a lot of people, I have been in and out of various depressive states in my life, as you would you know, I am very open about my struggle with mental health. But recently I have noticed that I have been up and down like a yoyo, happy and enjoying life then hitting the depths of despair and feeling like I couldn’t see where in life I was heading.
Its is no particular point of my life that I am worried about, I am feeling like I am cruising along at a good pace right now. For example – I have my goals I want to achieve and each day to day seems to be going well. So what’s the deal with my moods?
At first I thought it was because I wasn’t getting my usual 8-9 hours of sleep a night… Virgos love their sleep and its best for all involved that you stay away from me if you know that I haven’t had that 8-9 the night before.
Naturally, when I was in day 5 of the cloudy mental health haze, I was worried – was this going to be hanging around for long? What has caused it? Sleep, work, hormones… the list could go on.
So I decided that I was going to keep a little journal to monitor my moods during the day, nothing too in depth or tedious. But on the hour I would set an alarm to go off to take my little break from the computer and check in with how I felt at that time and what mood I was in. Obviously apart from tired and no doubt hungry, I noted down how I was feeling. I did this for an entire week, noting down what about that day had made me upset or happy etc. I really got an insight into just how much my mood changes over the course of a day. I highly recommend this, it helps to pin point triggers, and keeping a time line like this also helps you to be more aware of yourself. We don’t check in with ourselves enough and really ask ourselves how we are feeling and why.
Anyway – In the past I would have worried and thought people would think I was so moody and tried to maintain an upbeat demeanour, hiding behind a mask of fake bullshit happy. But I have since learnt that I really couldn’t give a fuck what people think and I will carry on being the moody strong bitch I am.
Since when did we all have to be walking around feeling great about everything? Why can’t we sometimes just not have a smile on our face? Or why cant we just feel flat and angry about something? We are human! We have the ability to experience a lot of different emotions. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and sometimes it’s not just one thing that brings on a mood. So let’s not beat ourselves up if we aren’t always feeling happy. In the down times it really makes you appreciate the good times.
That being said if you are experiencing depression or anxiety and it is crippling your life, it is really important to seek help from someone you trust and feel comfortable with. I know myself it is a bitch having to go through psychologist/psychiatrist and telling them your story only for you to not like them or their approach doesn’t gel with you but it definitely helps to unload that heaviness.
If you or anyone you know is experiencing depression, you can seek help
Talk soon, G.S xx
Disclaimer – Only positive comments will be approved. Our blog is a safe place and all negative comments will be ignored. xx