‘We dont get to choose what is done to us, we do however get to choose how long it is done to us’
I’ve had to do a little forgiving recently, sometimes I feel like I’m always doing a little forgiving but this time it was next level. I had to first forgive myself and then forgive some people without ever receiving any form of an apology from them.
Quick thing about forgiveness: It frees our mind and spirit. It’s healing for our body. It puts the power back in our hands. It creates a peace of mind and It gives us back control over our thoughts.
So I had to re-connect with a part of myself I’ve been avoiding for a long time.
They say in order to be free, you must first forgive yourself and then forgive others. I found that hard to do. It was draining. Draining forgiving myself and draining forgiving people I’ve had deep anger towards for a long time.
I feel like some people think forgiveness might be easy- and for some, maybe it is. Just like saying, ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’ the words may roll off the tongue with such importance and likewise the words ‘I forgive you’ may hold just as much power.
But for me….not so much. There’s always a thought process, ‘why am I sorry? why are they sorry? .. are our actions proving so? whats the next step?’
So just the same for forgiveness, it requires work, this time though – a shit load of work. And a whole lot of questions that needed to be answered but only I could answer them and a lot were left unanswered. I was throwing around positive affirmations like they were spells and I went on a massive cull.
Unfortunately I’m only human, forgiveness is not forgetting. It doesn’t matter how many hours I work, books I read, how much music I listen too, forgiveness is not forgetting.
But with every flashback, I feel a little stronger. I have more respect for myself. I’m no longer angry at what anyone has done, they’ve shown me what I need to know. And God damn my standards have been raised.
What’s that quote? ‘If you expect nothing from anyone, you’ll never be disappointed’
Fuck that- when did we all stop expecting, I expect so much more.
It only takes one person to come into your life and treat you like a qween for you to realise that everyone else was so so wrong. The standards need to be re-evaluated and set higher.
Forgive yourself, forgive them and then raise the bar so damn high because you deserve nothing less.